The Purity Myth

I recently finished the Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti. It was amazing, definitely a 5 out of 5.

Valenti writes in a way that I like, sarcastic humour and viewing issues from both sides. Let’s start with a visualization: A world were women are not judged because of whether they have sex or not but whether or not they are good people. Sounds pretty good to me. Though the “Virginity Movement” (to use Valenti’s term) wouldn’t have it that way. They believe in retro gender roles. Surprisingly they don’t really want to get rid of the hypersexualized culture, or rather they could not exist without it. Our culture gives women one of two places, virgins or whores. No inbetween, no grey area, just black and white based on sex. Sounds like fun doesn’t it?

She spends a good amount of time talking about abstinence-only education. Did you know that over 80% of Abstinence-only programs contain lies (all her stats are for the United States).

The strangest thing is that though her book focuses on the United States and seemingly ‘radicle’ right wingers I can see the things that she talks about. I grew up in a WASPy little town and to this day I am still startled when I find out that some of my friends aren’t virgins (though after the initial shock it doesn’t matter). And I didn’t even go through the indoctrination that some people go through, just through my interactions with culture. Even my sister, who goes to a Catholic High School, receives an abstinence-only education. This means that she has no working knowledge of birth control, or even avoiding STIs, should she ever need it. Can’t say for certain if they lie, though.

Women need to be judged on moral character, not on sexual character.

What Mother’s Day is Really About

Today as I was surfing the net I stumbled across this site: www.takebacktheday.ca.

The website is about what Mother’s Day began as. Somewhat surprisingly it was not invented by Hallmark. It was, in fact, Mothers Day, the realization of a dream of a woman named Anna Jarvis. She and her mother both worked for peace and were social activists.

The inspiration for a national Mother’s Day came from a West Virginian woman and mother of eleven who suffered through the loss of eight of her children. In 1858 at only 26, Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis organized women in her area into Mothers Day Work Clubs to improve the health and sanitation conditions in her county. During the American Civil War, she was adamant her clubs stay neutral, and they courageously nursed soldiers from both sides. When the war ended, she arranged the first Mothers Friendship Day in 1868 to reconcile friends and families torn apart by the bitter conflict, and the holiday was celebrated on several occasions after.

One writer, Julie Ward Howe, wrote a Mothers’ Day Proclamation in 1870. It called on mothers around the world to work for peace:

Arise then… women of this day!
Arise all women who have hearts!
***
And up from the bosom of a devastated Earth
A voice goes up with our own.
It says “Disarm! Disarm!”

Mothers’ Day was recognized as a national US holiday in 1914. Canada, Mexico and 48 states had been celebrating it since 1909. Shortly after becoming a national holiday the apostrophe was moved and it became Mother’s Day, a celebration of individual mothers. Individual mothers who needed flowers, and cards, and jewelry, and as many other gifts as one could think of.

According to the National Retail Federation Mother’s Day is a $15 billion industry in the US alone.

Perhaps it is time for us to take back this day. To put that apostrophe back where it belongs and instead of buying something for our mothers make something, or donate to somewhere, or volunteer. 

We can take back this day from Hallmark and work for peace.

Education

So I`ve been thinking about education a lot. Well, I`m kind of forced to because I have so many things to do for school. It`s just that a lot of the time I forget how fortunate I am to even be able to not to school. Not just post-secondary education but any education at all. Especially since I am a woman.

How many places could I have been born where I would not have had access for education? How many places would have been too expensive for me to go to school? How many places where it would have been illegal for me to even go to school?

This really frustrates me because I feel like there’s nothing I can do to help women have access to education. I looked around online for things I could do.

The one I could afford to do comes from the Miss G___ Project right here in Ontario. I could write to my MPP and ask that Women’s Studies be added to the High school curriculum. An amazing cause. In fact I’ve previously taken part in their Valentine’s Day phone in.

Most of the other ones involved money, much more money than I have. For Example, through Plan Canada I could pay $100 to support literacy training to two women in Rwanda or for $1225 I could give a girl a scholarship in Burkina Faso. I don’t have that kind of money…

Certainly there is something that I can do, that will feel like I am actually making a difference. I just can’t seem to think of anything…