The Purity Myth

I recently finished the Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti. It was amazing, definitely a 5 out of 5.

Valenti writes in a way that I like, sarcastic humour and viewing issues from both sides. Let’s start with a visualization: A world were women are not judged because of whether they have sex or not but whether or not they are good people. Sounds pretty good to me. Though the “Virginity Movement” (to use Valenti’s term) wouldn’t have it that way. They believe in retro gender roles. Surprisingly they don’t really want to get rid of the hypersexualized culture, or rather they could not exist without it. Our culture gives women one of two places, virgins or whores. No inbetween, no grey area, just black and white based on sex. Sounds like fun doesn’t it?

She spends a good amount of time talking about abstinence-only education. Did you know that over 80% of Abstinence-only programs contain lies (all her stats are for the United States).

The strangest thing is that though her book focuses on the United States and seemingly ‘radicle’ right wingers I can see the things that she talks about. I grew up in a WASPy little town and to this day I am still startled when I find out that some of my friends aren’t virgins (though after the initial shock it doesn’t matter). And I didn’t even go through the indoctrination that some people go through, just through my interactions with culture. Even my sister, who goes to a Catholic High School, receives an abstinence-only education. This means that she has no working knowledge of birth control, or even avoiding STIs, should she ever need it. Can’t say for certain if they lie, though.

Women need to be judged on moral character, not on sexual character.

This Just In: Women’s Bodies Are Still Their Most Economically Valued Asset

So I was checking my mail on Yahoo like I normally do the other day and I was intrigued by a video titled “Desperate Women Turn to the World’s Oldest Profession During Economic Downturn”. Unfortunately I can’t embed this video so you’ll have to click on the link.

Basically this video looks at the trend of women applying to brothels because of the economic downturn. I find that this is extremely disturbing. Mostly because these women are being forced, they say “choose”, but with only one viable option there isn’t much choice involved. This is rape for money.

This video really makes me mad because it only focuses on a legal brothel. It disregards the fact that there are many much dirtier scarier brothels in the world, without doctors and condoms.

It also focuses on the economic aspect of prostitution. That the Johns are not able to pay the women as much. Thus the women make less money.

This disregards the emotional damage that can be caused. It also disregards the possible violence these women face on the streets.

This disheartens me. I cannot believe that the only work that women can do and be pay very well is prostitution. In any other profession women make 30% less than men.

I can’t believe that a news program would broadcast this so non-chalently. It is almost as if they are closing their eyes to the fact that this is no more than paid for rape

Rape is Disease … Just Covering Your Ears Won’t Make It Go Away

I was dismayed today when I read yet another article about rape. I guess its good that it is being talked about within the media. Sort of. Kind of. Not really at all… except for the most sensational stories.

This article in particular detailed how a teen girl was allegedly raped and forced to work by her aunt. She was under ”Cinderella-type conditions” … not exactly the usual conditions of rape.

More disheartening than the sensationalism used by journalist and by Yahoo for placing the story on their homepage was the dicussion happening in the comment section of the article. There was a blatent disregard for the victim, for rape, and for feminism, even by those who claimed knowledge of the concept of rape and feminism.

The first was the accusation that the girl fabricated the rape to make her own story so sensational. I am not naive enough to believe that this never happened, nor that it will stop happening but until there is some more hard evidence accussations like that should not be thrown around. This is also the reason why I hate the word ‘allegedly’, though I do understand “innocent until proven guilty”.

Also there seems to be this idea that feminism and feminists are propegating the ‘myths’ that “there is still inequality” and that “rape is rapant”. These unfortunately are not myths. Rape is prevalent in our culture, our media, our psyche. Ordinary men *can* and *do* rape (some also are raped). Ordinary women are raped (some also commit rape). Rape is about many, many things, power, sex, and anger to name a few.

Another thing that irked me is that feminists are seen as man-hating dykes. Personally I like men, I wouldn’t sleep with one, but I generally like them. Sometimes they irk me, just like women irk me sometimes. Frankly men are also effected and hurt by social constructs, just like women, though not always to the same extent. I tend to find that the reason that people hate feminists seems to be because the change that we propose scares them. 

Rape won’t go away if you just pretend that it’s not there. And neither will we.