The Purity Myth

I recently finished the Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti. It was amazing, definitely a 5 out of 5.

Valenti writes in a way that I like, sarcastic humour and viewing issues from both sides. Let’s start with a visualization: A world were women are not judged because of whether they have sex or not but whether or not they are good people. Sounds pretty good to me. Though the “Virginity Movement” (to use Valenti’s term) wouldn’t have it that way. They believe in retro gender roles. Surprisingly they don’t really want to get rid of the hypersexualized culture, or rather they could not exist without it. Our culture gives women one of two places, virgins or whores. No inbetween, no grey area, just black and white based on sex. Sounds like fun doesn’t it?

She spends a good amount of time talking about abstinence-only education. Did you know that over 80% of Abstinence-only programs contain lies (all her stats are for the United States).

The strangest thing is that though her book focuses on the United States and seemingly ‘radicle’ right wingers I can see the things that she talks about. I grew up in a WASPy little town and to this day I am still startled when I find out that some of my friends aren’t virgins (though after the initial shock it doesn’t matter). And I didn’t even go through the indoctrination that some people go through, just through my interactions with culture. Even my sister, who goes to a Catholic High School, receives an abstinence-only education. This means that she has no working knowledge of birth control, or even avoiding STIs, should she ever need it. Can’t say for certain if they lie, though.

Women need to be judged on moral character, not on sexual character.

What Mother’s Day is Really About

Today as I was surfing the net I stumbled across this site: www.takebacktheday.ca.

The website is about what Mother’s Day began as. Somewhat surprisingly it was not invented by Hallmark. It was, in fact, Mothers Day, the realization of a dream of a woman named Anna Jarvis. She and her mother both worked for peace and were social activists.

The inspiration for a national Mother’s Day came from a West Virginian woman and mother of eleven who suffered through the loss of eight of her children. In 1858 at only 26, Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis organized women in her area into Mothers Day Work Clubs to improve the health and sanitation conditions in her county. During the American Civil War, she was adamant her clubs stay neutral, and they courageously nursed soldiers from both sides. When the war ended, she arranged the first Mothers Friendship Day in 1868 to reconcile friends and families torn apart by the bitter conflict, and the holiday was celebrated on several occasions after.

One writer, Julie Ward Howe, wrote a Mothers’ Day Proclamation in 1870. It called on mothers around the world to work for peace:

Arise then… women of this day!
Arise all women who have hearts!
***
And up from the bosom of a devastated Earth
A voice goes up with our own.
It says “Disarm! Disarm!”

Mothers’ Day was recognized as a national US holiday in 1914. Canada, Mexico and 48 states had been celebrating it since 1909. Shortly after becoming a national holiday the apostrophe was moved and it became Mother’s Day, a celebration of individual mothers. Individual mothers who needed flowers, and cards, and jewelry, and as many other gifts as one could think of.

According to the National Retail Federation Mother’s Day is a $15 billion industry in the US alone.

Perhaps it is time for us to take back this day. To put that apostrophe back where it belongs and instead of buying something for our mothers make something, or donate to somewhere, or volunteer. 

We can take back this day from Hallmark and work for peace.

Remember Remember The Fifth of November

And not just because of Guy Fawkes who tried to blow up the Parliament Houses.

Also not just that we all woke up (or stayed up) to find out that the first African American president elect is Barrack Obama.

But also that while the Democrats were celebrating their push for change millions of Americans voted to amend their state constitutions to include the “Traditional Marriage”.

This is wrong.

Unlike I have seen so many people say THIS IS DISCRIMINATION.

The Oxford English Dictionary defines to discriminate against: to make an adverse distinction with regard to; to distinguish unfavourably from others.

This is what the voters in Florida, California, Arizona and Arkansas have seen fit to do. They have decided that the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness only applies to certain groups of people. Again.

It seems like we are always looking for someone to blame. Whether they are Jewish, Black, Muslim, or Homosexual they are different and hence the source of all the world’s problems.

Bigotry is Bigotry.

Or else would someone explain to me why it is not? Oh wait! I know! Black people don’t “choose” to be black but gay people “choose” to be gay.

Yeah. Right.

And another thing. Domestic Partnership is NOT the same as marriage.

What this video does not mentions is that domestic partnerships costs way more.

See a particularly moving video against Prop 8 here.

I am not saying that other forms of discrimination don’t exist or that they are less important than homophobia. Just because Obama is president doesn’t mean that racism will just disappear.

This was just what was on my mind.

Yes I am gay. I say that as proudly as ever before. I had felt as though I had been slapped in the face by millions. Now I’m going to turn the other cheek and work to accept and tolerate others. Even if they don’t accept or even tolerate me.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

On the Eve of the Great Election

Here are a few things to ponder as we anxiously watch the election results come in.

Might help you see how race and racism are playing a part in the election…

What if John McCain were a former president of the Harvard Law Review?

What if Barack Obama finished fifth from the bottom of his graduating class?

What if McCain were still married to the first woman he said “I do” to?

What if Obama were the candidate who left his first wife after she no longer measured up to his standards?

What if Michelle Obama were a wife who not only became addicted to pain killers, but acquired them illegally through her charitable organization?

What if Cindy McCain graduated from Harvard?

What if Obama were a member of the “Keating 5″?

What if McCain were  a charismatic, eloquent speaker?

What if Barack Obama had an unwed, pregnant teenage daughter……

This is what racism does. It covers up, rationalizes and minimizes positive qualities in one candidate and emphasizes negative qualities in another when there is a color difference.

(Please note: I did not write these questions but got them from Feministing.com, who got it from a forwarded email)